


Worth It

by AlAngel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 04:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlAngel/pseuds/AlAngel
Summary: Request: Hello! Could I request a reader x Draco? Like where Draco has had an accident and the reader finds him unconscious on the road during a storm so she takes him to her place to patch him up. He has temporarily lost his memory and they fall in love while she cares for him but when he gets his memory back, she is scared that he’ll leave her behind. Thank you so much





	Worth It

Title: Worth It

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!Reader

Word Count: ~4.1k (how did this happen?)

Warnings: angst, h/c

Request: Hello! Could I request a reader x Draco? Like where Draco has had an accident and the reader finds him unconscious on the road during a storm so she takes him to her place to patch him up. He has temporarily lost his memory and they fall in love while she cares for him but when he gets his memory back, she is scared that he’ll leave her behind. Thank you so much

(A/n: I don’t even know how this got so long. Anyway please enjoy. It has been really interesting to try and understand post-war Malfoy and how he feels about his past now. || not my gif)

 

“Malfoy? Draco Malfoy?” You asked the stranger who looked at you in confusion, the young man looked nothing like the arrogant always well-dressed boy you remembered from your days in Hogwarts. The man in front of you was pale and wary, lost and confused. Yet he still had the eyes that had haunted your dreams for years, both nightmares and daydream fantasies – the young Malfoy had always been something else.

“Who are you?” His voice wary as he looked you up and down, not trusting you. Good on him, you would never trust him either. Although he seemed more than vulnerable with his haunted eyes and confusion written all over his handsome features.

“(Y/n)” You introduced “We went to school together?” Your words seemed to only confuse him further, his brows frowned as he wiped some blonde hair away from his face, his hair was same as his clothing soaking wet from the rain. A sympathetic shiver went through your warm body as you noticed his less than suitable clothing. What was he doing out here?

Malfoy never answered, giving any sign of recognition, with the next lightning bolt he jumped and fell. You didn’t have any time to react before his body hit the ground and dark red blood started to slowly rinse down the side of his face. As soon as you got your nerves back you knelt in the dirt to see how bad it was, the blood was a steady but fortunately small stream but the Malfoy heir wouldn’t open his eyes. You grabbed your wand to make the bleeding stop, but still no sign of life from the unconscious man. Panicking your hand tried to find a pulse on his neck, but in your state you couldn’t tell if the soft thumbing was your own heart beat or really his.

The decision came easy after that, you snuck your arms around his unconscious and hopefully still alive body before apparating outside your home. You carried him the last couple of feet, the door flying open automatically for the two of you, and you put him on the sofa. Already your brain was filled with old classes, herbology and some healing spells, but as soon as your eyes landed on his unconscious body your head seemed empty once again.

Taking a deep breath you teared your eyes off him to check some books. You kept some of your old school supplies in some box somewhere, it had to be somewhere. Deciding to settle on basic muggle methods instead of uselessly searching for some outdated spell work, you ran into your kitchen to boil the kettle. After getting all you needed you made your way back with hot water, a clean towel and a bucket. While you were gone Draco’s facial expression had softened, he didn’t look half dead anymore with a least a bit more colour to his normally pale face and his form relaxed to look almost asleep. Never had you seen him so peaceful.

“Malfoy?” You asked careful, not wanting to wake him while also desperately needing to reassure yourself that he was okay. When he didn’t react to your voice you went over to sit on the couch next to him. Tenderly you pressed the towel to his face, washing away left over blood while also trying to warm him up by wrapping a magic blanket around him. You could have sworn he snuggled into the warmth and the sight made your heart jump a little.

His eyes opened slowly a couple of minutes later, confusion and shock written all over them. He pushed your hand away and sat up, immediately regretting the sudden movement.

“Careful” You said pushing him back down “You hit your head pretty good”

“Figures” Was all he said as he let himself be laid down again “What happened?”

“I… I’m not sure” You admitted “I was walking when we wet. Then there was a lightning bolt and you jumped.”

“So we know each other?”

“Not really. We went to school together, remember?” You studied his face, fascinated and a little scared how you saw so many thoughts and emotions rush over it, while in the end settling on blank. “You don’t remember. Well would have surprised me.” You shrugged a bit hurt that he didn’t even remember after all he did to you in school, but really you weren’t surprised. He was a Malfoy through and through.

“You’re from school” Malfoy muttered more to himself “I was outside in a storm…” He sighted shaking his head, anger now evited on his face “Why would I do that?” Even more emotions mixed in with the anger, his eyes grow restless until a sharp hiss of pain escaped his lips and he touched his head.

“Hey” Tenderly your hand landed on his arm “Careful with that head. You banged it pretty hard, remember?”

“I don’t.” Suddenly he was shaking, the second hand found his head and he curled up, both hands wrapped around his throbbing head. “I don’t remember anything. Not school, not you, no storm… There is nothing but black and pain in my head.”

The emotional outburst surprised you to say the least. Draco Malfoy had always been the bully who talked down others but would hide behind his daddy when things got tough for him. Him being emotional wasn’t something you’d seen in all your years in Hogwarts.

“I’m sure it will come back” You tried to reassure him “For now… I’m (Y/n). Pleased to meet you, Draco Malfoy.” With a reluctant face he pulled away one of his hands from his head, you sent him a reassuring smile as he took your hand in his to shake it. “Pleased to meet you, Miss.”

“Morning” You called into your living room but got the reply from your kitchen. Upon entering you saw Malfoy at the table just staring at his folded hands.

“Early riser?” You asked casually while standing in the door frame.

“Couldn’t sleep” He sighted “I tried to remember something.”

You didn’t need to ask if he came to any sort of conclusion, his slouched down position was answer enough, his memory was still gone. So instead you decided to change the topic.

“You hungry? I feel like waffles” Without waiting for a reply - because who would pass homemade waffles for breakfast - you swung your wand and your whole kitchen started to move. Malfoy’s eyes followed the flying flour package as everything went into bowl. A smile crept onto your face as you saw his stunned expression.

“Haven’t been in a magic kitchen in s while?” You asked amused “I promise they taste amazing”

“I’m sure they will”

“Your waffles are amazing” Malfoy admitted over his still stocked plate.

"Thank you”

“So what do you do?” He asked casually as if you’d been friends for years, all his reluctance around you gone this morning. For some reason he seemed to trust you. “I can’t really tell you much about myself”

“I’m working for the ministry. Nothing fancy and horribly paid, but I like it.” You smiled thinking about your job.

“What is it exactly you do?” He kept asking “You seem to really like it”

“Education department. And how would you know?”

“Your eyes do this twinkle thing when you’re amused or happy. Waffles made you smile. And so does talking about your job.” For a moment you were stunned by his observation. Malfoy wasn’t even with you for a day but he already started to pick up on the little things about out. You weren’t sure how to feel about that.

“Oh…” Was your very intelligent reply.

“Can you tell me about school?” He asked all of a sudden with an eager expression, his eyes shining curious like you never saw them before. All together the Malfoy sitting at the breakfast table with you was nothing like the boy you got to know in school, his nose wasn’t high up in the air, his voice no shrill pitching and he wasn’t talking to you like you were any less than him. To your own surprise you found the young man opposite you quite enjoyable company.

“Not much to trigger memories I’m afraid. We weren’t friends or anything” You replied while sipping some tea. It wasn’t a lie, but also far from the truth. You could tell him a hundred and one stories about how he made fun of you or called you degrading nicknames. But for some reason you didn’t want this way nicer version of Draco Malfoy to know about that part of his past, at least this grown up Malfoy deserved better.

“You went to Slytherin” You smiled remembering your first day “Been the seeker of your house team. Oh and we had some classes together. I remember you being pretty good in some of them.”

“Did we talk? Back then I mean” He paused a second before averting his eyes “You seem like a nice person, (Y/n).”

“No” you answered quickly, stunned by his admission “Ahm… I guess it just never seemed to click. We’re probably just a bit too different.”

“How so?” His eyes widened a little “We’re talking now. And for not even remembering to know you, you seem like a very decent person. You took me in with a head injury and now you put up with all my stupid questions. I would have been an idiot for not appreciating kindness in someone.”

“A bump in the head really changes a person huh?”

“What do you mean?“

"Nothing, I better clean up and get some work done.” You rose from your seat quickly, not looking directly at Malfoy but muttering a quick spell to make the kitchen clean up. “Feel free to… I don’t know wander the house or something.” And with that and very conflicted emotions, you left a very confused man in your kitchen.

“Made you some tea” A voice called from the door of your study as you turned you noticed his curious look at all the books and papers scattered around the tiny room. You felt some redness on your cheeks, slightly embarrassed by the obvious mess the room made to everyone but you and your unique system.

“Thank you” You got up to accept the steaming cup. Malfoy was still looking fascinated at the coloured book marks and sticky notes - best muggle invention of all times.

“Quite the mess huh?” You asked.

“You didn’t expect company”

“You sound like you think I’d tidy up for a visitor” You snorted while taking a sip of the hot liquid “Hot”

“Tea normally is” He raised an eyebrow and for the first time you saw a glimpse at the Malfoy you remembered - Only without the hurtful component to his sharp tongue.

“Smart mouth” You smiled.

“We’re not friends and you call me names?” It was supposed to be a joke, but you felt your smile falter. Again memories of the young Slytherin filled your mind.

“Sorry” The Malfoy in front of you awkwardly took step back, hand coming up to scratch his neck “I… Teasing you seems to come natural.”

“Figures” You snap sharper than necessary and then he actually deserved. “Thanks for the tea - Let me get some work done now.”

“Sure” His expression was again confused and uncertain, but he didn’t ask any more questions and backed out of your room. As the door closed you let heavy sight escape your lips. On one hand you wanted to never leave this room again, never deal with him again, but on the other all you wanted was to run after him and tell him that it wasn’t his fault you snapped - while somehow it totally was.

When did your life and emotions become so complicating?

“Dinner?” You asked tired into the living room where a very awkward Malfoy sat, a book in hand, on your tiny sofa. He should have looked out of place, but for some reason your brain supplied that despite the stiff position, you could get used to the sight. What was wrong with you?

“Yes” His eyes met yours as he put the book aside to follow you into the kitchen, again they were reluctant and puzzled. He seemed to be constantly surprised by your behaviour.

As the two of you settled at the table same as you did in the morning silence settled in with you. There were a million and one unasked questions but neither of you voiced any. It didn’t make the silence uncomfortable however, actually it felt nice to sit at the end of the day with someone. You had been alone ever since the war ended, most of your friends and the small family you had didn’t make it. Moving on felt like replacing them with something no one would be ever able to replace. But this right now felt new and unknown, it wasn’t chasing old times, it was different and made your nerves tingle.

“May I ask something?” Inevitably curiosity got the better of Malfoy.

“Sure”

“Why did you take me in?” His eyes met yours determined not to let you flee again “You seem to be uncomfortable around me. One moment you’re relaxed and smile, then you run. I don’t understand you. Why help me of you can’t stand me?”

“I… I didn’t expect you to have a concussion.” I thought you were either dead or you’d wake up and blame me for the storm, the weather, your head, everything. “You’re different like this. Not at all like I remember.”

“You didn’t like old me, did you?”

“I never got the chance to really know you…”

“Stop making excuses” There was a hint of anger and annoyance in his voice “You didn’t like me. So I wasn’t very likeable before. Stop sugar coating.”

“We have a complicated history” You finally admitted averting your eyes from his “I’m sure it will come back to you and make sense at some point.”

“I want to understand now” Suddenly his hand entered your field of vision and reluctantly made its way to lay on yours. The soft weight felt comfortable and you stared at your joined hands in awe. “You’re the only clue I have to my past, and… I don’t know you, (Y/n), maybe I never knew you like I wish I did. But… You’re interesting, brave and… I don’t know where I’m going with this. I guess I’m trying to say I wish things were different.”

“Careful with what you wish for, Malfoy” You tried to smile still processing his words. This man seemed to regret mistakes he didn’t even remember making, be seemed to genuinely like you and all you wished to do was to wrap your free hand around his and hold it. Hold on to him, hold on to this, hold on to things being different.

“Knowing you is something I’ll never regret” His hand squeezed tighter around yours “And no matter the past, memories or no, I don’t think that could ever change.”

“I…” Suddenly your lips were met with his, all resistance crumbled at the feeling of joy and slight nervousness that settled into your stomach. Very reluctantly you returned to kiss, tasting and feeling all of him. At some point your eyes fell shut and all you could do was focus on his chipped yet still soft lips.

It felt like hours before you needed to pull away for air, the small amount of oxygen enough to make you come to your senses. What were you doing?!

Hastily you pulled away before his lips and the amazing feeling of just being close to him before it could lull you back in. In a second you stood, a couple of feet between you and Draco.

“(Y/n)?” He sounded confused, astonish, but mostly lost and broken. His eyes shone with hurt and a soft hint of red settled on his cheeks.

“Look” Your hand combed through your hair moving them nervously out of your face “You’ll remember one day. And… I’m sorry. I can’t let this happen and wait till one morning you wake up and remember. Remember how you feel about yourself - about me. I’m not ready to be called worthless again, not by you.” And with that you left, stray tears falling as soon as you closed the kitchen door behind you. You would never be ready to face the cruel Draco Malfoy from school after tonight. You let yourself fall for him, realizing it only when it was too late.

Draco raised his hand to knock on your study door. So much about you didn’t make any sense in his already clouded and confused head. But he gave up on trying to make sense of all the missing pieces, instead he wanted to focus on the small and sacred things he did know. And one of them was that whoever you were, you made him feel things that shook his already shaken world.

You took in someone you hadn’t seen in years, someone you never really liked, some might call it stupid, but to him it was a bravery he never saw before. You faced him although you seemed to have only the worst memories about him, and you still managed to smile. Maybe it was your smile that he liked most about you, it made him feel welcome and safe even without a single clue about the past or present. He had been wondering more than once what kind of man he was now and what kind of person he had been in school. All he wanted was to be better now.

“(Y/n)?”

“Go away” Your voice was muffled from the heavy wooden door “Leave me alone, Malfoy”

Suddenly a sharp pain emerged right between his eyes, he closed them in a desperate attempt to shut the pain out, but to no avail. Things flooded back to his mind, so many things all at once, all things he had forgotten came rushing back.

“If it isn’t little (Y/n)” A very young boy with light blonde hair stood out on the field with two fat boys to his left and right. His stance and voice spoke of superiority and arrogance. “Almost wouldn’t have recognised you with that stupid face of yours inside a book”

“What do you want?”

“My friends here and I were just wondering” his smirk grew into a cruel expression “What is it like to have utterly no talent in witchcraft and still go to a good school? What’s it like to be useless?”

The small girl standing all alone on the field closed her book with a very composed expression before she turned around and simply walked away. Only when her back was to the three older boys she let her expression fall and the tears slipped from your eyes freely.

 

“Great day to waste everyone’s time, isn’t it?” The same young boy hissed as he walked by the girl in the hallway. “Stop standing in my way, you toad”

 

“Her?” The blond boy pointed at the girl and his expression turned to utter disgust. “I’d rather take a pig to the Jules ball than anyone as useless as her. Please, Craig, I’m a Malfoy I have standards.”

 

“So your date ditched you? Good on him, I was surprised someone asked you anyway.”

 

“She’s a worthless girl. I’d rather fail my exams then be teamed up with someone like her, professor.” His voice was shrill “My father will her of your teaching techniques. I won’t work with a worthless mud-blooded toad.”

 

“Dumbledore’s army?” The blonde boy snorted “As if you were of use to anyone, toad.” The girls face drained of colour as she looked right into his cold eyes, however for once her expression didn’t change into one of fear and shame. Instead her eyes spoke of anger, her fist clenched and her opponent shifted uncomfortable at the new reaction to his hurtful words. Before she could act on her anger however her fist unclenched again and the boy let go of his held breath, having experience with a strong willed girl slapping him. This girl was different though. Her (y/blue-grey) eyes met his, cold and sad at the same time, but not hurt like he remembered them from the million and one times he’d been cruel before.

“As long as there are bullies like you out there, Malfoy, I’ll always be of use” She replied coolly and collected “Now leave me alone. You’re the one who’s not worth my anger or time.”

His head was still spinning, but at least the memory stream had stopped. Draco took a deep breath and tried to make sense of all the things he now remembered. A lifetime had crashed down on him and most tings he saw made him feel terrible about himself, the things he did and the life he led.

….

After Malfoy gave up after just the first knock you got a funny feeling in your guts. He had never been one to back off easily before. How much could a hit on the head change s person? Apparently a lot, you thought back to the kiss in your kitchen. On instinct your fingers touched your lips, your tongue still chasing his taste on your lips.

Desperate to get it out of your mind, you decided to sneak into your kitchen and get some more tea. Upon opening your study door your eyes fell on a bundle on the floor opposite your door. Malfoy was completely curled into himself, hands wrapped around his head protectively, his whole form shaking.

“Hey” In a matter of seconds your mixed feelings for him were gone as you crouched down on the floor next to him “Talk to me”

But there was no reply, only a soft whimper escaped his lips. You pulled him into your arms, trying to calm him, your hands rubbed slow circles on his back and you tried to get him to breathe more evenly. Slowly his nerves seemed to settle down a little, the shaking calmed down and so did his breathing. But with the calmness came something else, he stiffened under your touch still he totally pulled away. As he lifted his head out of his hands and you could look at his face for the first time you saw red eyes, a pale face and so much loneliness it almost hurt you physically.

“What did I do?” His voice sounded broken, his eyes unfocused and staring into the void. Another lonely tear ran down his already cried out and puffy eyes. “What did I do?”

“You’re memories are back…” Although he scoped away from you, you tried to pull him back and comfort him. Of course you didn’t know about all the things he had done during school and later during the war, but with the personality you remembered assuming the worst would still be too kind to him.

“(Y/n). Please.” Neither of you knew what he asked for, nothing you could do would ever take the burden of knowing off of him. Still you let your hands go back to rubbing smoothing circles on his back, this time he leaned slightly into the touch. “Please”

“I wish I could help” You whispered back. Suddenly he turned and pulled you into a tight hug, his face pressed into the crock of your neck and his hands almost left bruises from holding on so fiercely.

“Hate me” He demanded “Yell at me. Tell me that I’m a despicable person.” Broken sobs followed his pleas “I deserve to be hated. The things I did… for the dark lord, to all those people, to you. How can you even stand to be near me?”

“Malfoy” You sighted, not believing the words that left your mouth “Draco. You were a child. Children are despicable little things at times, they make mistakes. But that doesn’t make them horrible people. Children do grow up, you know.”

“But…”

“Come on” You offered him your hand with a genuine smile to help him get up “Let’s have some tea and pretend for a minute you’re not the Malfoy heir who just got a lifetime of shitty memories back.”

“And what does that make you?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, considering to take your hand but not yet convinced. His still tear strained face was so innocent and broken, your heart did break a little for him.

“What do you want me to be?”

“The woman who saved me.” His eyes met yours “The one good thing in all my life I’d like to keep.”

“That I can be”


End file.
